bloggy boo

So often it feels like we don't let ourselves be happy for others around us, bask in their sucess. It's not our fault. We want to do better, ourselves. We want to be the astronaut named Neil Armstrong, hiding any likeness to Buzz Aldren in the closet. Sometimes i wish the word comparison never was invented. It was a pure joy last nite, listening to XRT after a rousing game of sardines with improv pals, to hear the Dj start talking about Ezra Furman and the Harpoons, how Ezra's going to be a big thing one day soon. I couldn't hope for anything but. I went to Tufts with Ezra and while we were never super close, I can't help but smile thinking about him and his soulful way of life. Listening to his voice clink as it it hit the various notes on the table, was pure joy. Driving home, my dial on what i think to be the best radio station in town, hearing my friend's voice shake and jam and slide down for that last high note. It was hopeful. And in being happy for him, I found myself happy for myself.

And then I saw another friend, Jeff, on his bike at montrose and clark, peddling into the streetlights beyond eyesite. It felt like Chicago pinching my cheek, saying, "c'mon sister, the world loves ya, even if sometimes it doesn't show it."

In other news, camping this weekend with improv troup. For serious. Not the punchline of a joke... we shall see how this goes. And then shows! for 8 solid weeks on sunday nites at i.o. Can ya believe it's finally time?There's a dude bein a real jerk in our group...and i don't think he's aware of it, so maybe on a small level he's not to blame, but he's making everyone real jumpy. And killin the happy improv spirit. I'm trying to be as nice as possible to him, kill 'em with kindness ya know, but being around him makes me mad, sad, and a gazillion other feelings of distress and disappointment. I just had a discussion with a spicy irish gal bout him about his blog and how offensive it was, how totally rude and mean. Well, i have said nothing that I would not be happy to discuss...with anybody. And the past entry was taken down, due a similar occurence. I don't want to upset anybody within this lil bloggy boo. I'm just one girl. These are my wanderings. I hope they allow the few readers out there to get to know me better, somehow. However, if they're upsetting, that is when the line gets drawn.