futbol matches are cold

Just came back from watching julian, the ex bf of esther play futbal. IT was cold and it seems in spain, everyone just heads the ball, not really caring where the ball goes. The stadium was nestled between the mountains and for this was beautiful...but fucking freezing.

I was so excited, to write a bit here...but im still in the mode of accepting all and any social invitations so i must go now, and have..something(tomar algo) with some friends...who are really more like nice aquaintances. I had forgotten, somewhat successfuly, what having real friends felt like. And then david polk came to visit--(saw cordoba and manyy statues of jewish philosper maimonnanes who apparently prayed at this synagogue in cordoba back in the day..)and everything was SO easy. Laughing, talking, just being. And i wasn´t sad at all. I hate the feeling of when i have to roll my tongue around my mouth so i don´t cry. Thinking about him leaving today, in the car with esther i did that. I was just thankful she was so preoccupied with herself(as per usual...) that she didnt ask about him. I dont think icould have handled that. But anyways, lifes ok, off to morrocco next week! And will write more later!